Sigh....

Well today was tango day, and I feel really mad at myself for not being confident enough. Every little thing I do, I hesitate because I am afraid that I am doing it wrong or I think that my partner gets annoyed by what I do. I just don't know how to boost my confidence in tango and in life.

If I was confidence enough then I would be happier with my life and the things I choose to do.
ARGGGG, I have already messed my life up and I could've done something that would make me happy but I decided not to do it and now I freeking regret that decision. I think it might be a regret for life and also a lesson. Well I guess for tango I can just practice more at home but my life problem I'll just try my best to solve it.

Anyways today (4.20.09) was a hot day and I was pretty much happy the whole day other than the confidence thing. I actually think speech helps with me with talking to people. I started talking to my partners today even though I don't know them. Maybe the shy stage of my life has passed by.

Yet still my goal:
Smile more even when the situation is not good because smiles bring joy to not just yourself but also others.

Change if needed

So, I was taking the bus home today, like wow I takes the bus home because normally I get rides home from Alvin but today I was in no mood to stay for physics or any of those crap, I was thinking what happened if the Yong you all know changed into a more mature person? I really want to change into someone that is less foolish. Well I'm going to give myself a week into trying this maybe it'll make me a better person. Other then that I don't know what I can do. I feel so useless at the moment and don't know what else I can do.

Note to self and others:
Keep smiling cause eventually it will lead on to more happiness for others.

EDIT: FOR THOSE THINK THIS IS EMO ITS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE EMO!!!

Thoughts...

I am a person that if you give time, I will learn to accept. Even if its something I don't think I can accept. Eventually I'll end up accepting it because I don't have the power to change what has happened already. So yeah when I get time to think I learn about myself more. When I rush things I just end up doing it wrong or think I can do it but at the end I fail. So give yourself sometime to think. Everyone will eventually solve those problems and everyone have problems. It's just the matter of time when realize it and then you'll go into this state where you think every night before you go to bed.

=D

I am happy and I love my sunburn. Don't know why but I just love my sunburn ahaha. Well I think its time for me to sleep more. i need my daily 14 hours of sleep in order to function right. Otherwise I'll be thinking a lot. So normally if I sleep for 14 hours I would only think about things for 10 hours but if you put school into it I'll probably think about 7-8 hours a day which is a lot for my little brain but its alright it'll keep my stupid ass thinking so my brain will still function. As long as I get my 14 hours of sleep I AM FUCKING HAPPY!!!!! =D BTW I WANT TO SAY I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!

Why?

All I want to do is ask you why? Maybe one day when I get drunk I will ask you this question but for now I don't want to.

Edit: BTW I am back in SF. The trip was alright because a lot of stuff went wrong. I felt that I had the worst luck during the last 3 days in LA but it's alright cause I believe luck will come back around and help me sooner or later, after I use up my bad luck.

LA here we come.

In about 9 hours and 22min we are heading to LA. This is going to be fun.

habit?

One way to relieve my stress is that I play freecell. I know it sounds nerdy because it requires a lot of thinking and it keeps my mind off a lot of things. So maybe next time when you are stressed try freecell. I know this is a random ass post just felt like blogging this. =)