the cycle

I think my life is in a repetition cycle. Things seems to happen over and over again. There's just things that repeats itself over and over. It happened in elementary school, kinda in middle school, definitely in high school and college. Will this happen again? Well maybe it will or maybe it won't I can't predict the future but one thing for sure is that I don't like how it all ends up.

Smile =)

"You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile"

I brought rain with me everywhere I went today. =D

Do you understand...

If only I can read what you're thinking....

I hate bad dreams, they are worst than nightmares.

first week of class

So last week was the first week of Fall 09 classes, pretty much all my classes are interesting except for econ and history because on the first day of econ he started lecturing us already. I mean come on it's the first day of class and you start lecturing, what about dealing with the adds and stuff. History is just full of information for me to process in one hour and the reading is quite confusing because there is a lot of introduction to different groups of people. Other then that all my classes are pretty fun.
Oh yeah we hung out Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Monday we went to get crepes on Judah. Tuesday, we went bowling. Wednesday we went stones and then we went dinner because we got out of night class early.

Do you guys expect me to type more then my last two post? Well I'm not going to because I'm too lazy to. That is all. =D

Final Week of Summer

Monday- Didn't do much during the day but went out at night with Andrew and Amy to Milbrae to dessert and then Karaoke at Voiz. It was a fun night. At first we were going to go bowling but then plans changed because only the three of us were there and I wanted Ice Cream and Amy wanted to go somewhere far so we ended up at that dessert place. It's nice just sitting there and chatting.

Tuesday- Didn't do anything until night time again. This time we went bowling. I suck at bowling every time I go bowling I get less and less points. Maybe I should not bowl. After bowling we just went home.

Wednesday- My brother woke me up around 8:40 and was like are you still going crabbing with me and I was like my friend said he set 2 alarm clocks then he was like okay if you're going then I'll meet you there. So I had to google map where Fort Point is. Then Eric called me at like 8:50 and was like are you awake yet and I was like yes then he said give me 10 mins. Around 9ish he called and said he'll take a little longer becuase his parents wanted him to bring some equipments. So we got to Fort Point around 10:15ish and saw my brother with my ex-neighbor's neice. They were crabbing and we started fishing. At first we didn't have bait so we couldn't catch any small fish for bait so me and eric went safeway to get shrimps. When we got back I finally caught a small bait but my brother told me I can't use those fish to catch big fish so he threw the fish back in the water. A little later I caught another one of those fish and then I was liek forget this I want to pluck instead. So I was pluckign and eric was doing the regular stuff. A little later Amy, Ann, and Kevin came and we were just standing there fishing. It is my second time fishing and it's my second time not catching any fish but it's alright. At least this time I had fun fishing. We were there til 3ish and then we went to Fishermen's Warf to eat. We were at Rainforest Cafe, the place have alright food but I love how they decorate the place. They have like movign goriilas and Elephants which moves like every 10-20 mins. After that we just walked around the Warf then we walked back to our car. On our way to the car we saw an Moped-Car accident. After that we decided to go Eggettes but pretty much everyone was knocking out so we decided to go home after we sat around Eggettes for 10 mins. When I got home I showered and then went straight to bed because I only had 4 hours of sleep.

Thursday- Went out to city to turn in some paper and then went to the sunset to give Amy the last of the episodes of her series that I thought it ends on episode 24 but it actually ends at episode 26. LOL it was my fault. Other then that I didn't want to waste 2 dollars just to go to city so I decided to go over to give her those episodes. When I got home I ate dinner and my brother was so mad becuase my grandpa always have trouble with his TV so he said he wasn't going to go out to CT to help him fix this TV. Then my dad knocked on my door and told me to eat faster so I can go with him. Took us like 45 mins to get to CT becuase there was traffic. When we got there my dad told me which building my grandparents lived on becuase they moved like 2 or 3 weeks ago and I think I'm the last grandchild to visit their new place. This place had more security then the other becuase you have to sign in and sign out. When I walked into my grandparent's appartment, my grandma was like are you losing weight. Am I really gettign skinnier? I am 145 pounds. Do I not look like I'm 145 pounds? I sure feel 145 pounds. Well anyways while I was there I fixed his TV and then before we left grandpa gave me a tour of his appartment. Then we left and he walked us out and I felt like I should be talking to my grandpa more so when we were walking I asked him a bunch of questions and we were chattingish. He still smokes so I was like stop smoking. When I got home I felt like I should go hang out with my grandpa more maybe go to those parks and play chinese chess with him. I just felt like I should care more about my grandparents.

Friday- Well today is the last day of Church Summer School Program and I should go just to chill because they always have parties on the last day but I woke up liek an hour and half ago which is not a good sign because school is starting on Monday and I have to correct my sleeping habits. I think pretty much today will be a day spent at home doing pretty much nothing. Maybe somethign will pop up and I'll have plans later but for now I have nothing to do.

Thanks Guys and Girls for this week. I love you all!!!

Week 1 of end of summer

Monday: Went Downtown with Eric so he can make an appointment for this ticket and I was loitering in front of Mc Donalds and there was a sign that clearly says NO LOITERING but I stood there like I was waiting for someone. While waiting this black guy pulled over to pick up his friend and he drives a tC. It's suprising that a black guy is driving a tC cause normally you'll see asians driving it. After that we headed to Andrew's house and played games til like 7 which was pretty fun. Thanks Andrew for inviting us and thanks Eric for driving me.

Tuesday: Stayed home.

Wednesday: Woke up at 11 because I made an appointment at A plus for my haircut for 12:30. Took the bus there and dang was I tired. Slept at like 4 which is pretty much every day now lol. Then after I got my haircut it was like 2 something. Then I decided to head to church to visit the kids and all the volunteers. Stayed there until closing time but I wasn't plannign to stay that long cause I paid for the bus and the fare stops workign at 4. While walking to the bus stop down Noreiga I decided to go visit Andrew because since I'm around might as well go say hi. Oh yah I walked in and he didn't notice I walked in and i went to the back to grab a Aloe drink. He was like it's great that you visted now my stomach ache is gone. LOL. Busing home was boring and on the bus this bum sat behind me. GODDAMN he stinks. Got home and ate dinner because I didn't eat anything that day but suprisingly I didn't feel hungry at all so I didnt eat that much during dinner. After dinner I took a little short nap (2 hours only) and finished my bag of Baked Lays Barbeque Flavor which was really good.

Thursday: Didn't really expect to do much today but my brother asked me to go Home Depot and Best Buy with him. I didn't feel like goign but he was like come on go its better then staying home. So I decided to go with him. We didn't buy much, well we went to Old Navy and I wanted a long sleeves shirt and I asked him to buy me it and he was like no but before we left he asked if I wanted it. I also asked him to buy me a pair of shoes and he said he cant afford it but in a couple of months he can. After buying stuff he asked if I wanted to go out and eat and I was like ehhh... but I know the food at home would be the same stuff over and over again so I was like what the heck lets go. Before that I had to call home to confirm that mom didn't cook yet so that there wouldnt be alot of food left over. Good thing she didnt cook yet or else I would end up eatting those boring dishes again... We went to this place on Taraval. Forgot the name already but someone told me Lisa's boyfriend's parent owns the place and someone also told me that the place sucked but it was alright I guess. It wasn't that bad. Went home after dinner. Now I am blogging. Hmmm... I don't know what I will be doing tomorrow I'll see after I wake up.

The more I think about it the more I realize

Lol. I've been thinking quite a lot lately and every time I seems to try to figure out something and I end up figuring out some stuff. I think I have been in this stage of thinking a lot for too long, it's time to move on. Anyways there's one more week of summer school left and then I'm just going to be sleeping in and sleeping late for three weeks until fall semester starts. I do wish that summer was longer and that I have money so I can go somewhere. Hopefully it can happen next summer. Alright I think I need a nap only slept for 5ish hours.

Today was pretty awesome. Had this gathering thing with my middle school friends. Can you believe some of them I don't even recognize but I remember most of them. It's really awesome meeting everyone again but at some points I felt that I didn't really belong cause everyone was doing their own things and I was just sitting thing like wow , I don't know what to do anymore.

It's almost 4 and I am still awake. I had a couple of shots of grey goose just at first which woke me up. Maybe I should drink less it makes me think a lot and it's just not regular stuff it's stuff I do not like talking about. Today's drinking was just nothing I don't feel buzzed at all. I should be sleeping now but I just don't want to. LOL!!!!

hate this weather

I swear this gloomy weather is making me more emo. How am I suppose to enjoy my summer when this gloomy weather is here? When can summer be real summers? I'm sick and tired of this weather!!!!! Lol. I had a lot to blog about before i took my nap today. I guess I forgot what I was going to blog about. I'll just blog about it when it comes back. I have short-term memory but if I start thinking about my past then I will be able to remember when I'm older. Lol, learned that from a series.
So, I was sitting here playing games today my brother knocked on my door and I was like what the hell does he want this time because normally he would just come in and wander around and see what I am doing and then leave, other times he would just use the backyard and yes the backyard door is once again in my room so when everyone wants to use the backyard they go through my room. My dad said he will fix this in a couple of years but I highly doubt it because he has no money and my brother is still freeking unemployed. Anyways back to my brother, he gave me 40 bucks to do 2 weeks of dish washing which is a deal but he also said that if I miss one day he'll take back 20 which is not good. He did this to be before in highschool making me do chores for money but then I got lazy and we stopped.
So this week I'm looking forward to is the gathering on saturday where I get to see alot of people who I have not seen for years some all middle school friends and some elementary school friends. Really looking forward to that.
Time for bed it's 1:08 AM and I might go to church tomorrow and see how things are going. Even though there's like 15 kids left and there's 20 volunteers. I just want to go and talk to Anita and maybe some of the helpers.

allergies?

I've been having stuffy noses, itchy eyes/throat, and sometimes running nose. I think I have allergies.
I also have problems sleeping. When I feel tired while sitting in front of my computer I feel like sleeping but when I lay down and try to actually sleep I can't sleep until I roll around for sometime.
The funny thing is I wake up several times in the morning. Like today I woke up at 6:57, 9:30ish, 10ish and finally woke up at 11ish. I just don't know why!!!

.......................

I haven't blogged here for a while. I've been up to just school and home for the past two weeks. I know its boring but I have nothing else better to do. I did tell myself that I will go volunteer but after hearing that there's only like 11 kids that enrolled this year made me kinda don't want to go. I'll try to make it to volunteer maybe once or twice a week. I enrolled in Fall 09 classes but I didn't get freeking Accounting 2. I hate the government for cutting those budgets for schools They took out like 2 accounting classes that I could've enrolled in. Didn't we just raise our tax? Should that money go to schools?

Things to look forward to:
Move out and move out of state XD.
Maybe I should do study abroad Japan that sounds fun.

Look what no school made me...

LOL today I woke up and thought it was Friday. When Eric came to pick me up, I said Happy Birthday to him because Friday is his birthday and I thought today was Friday and he said it's not my birthday today. Then I said Isn't today Friday? then he said no. Then we went to Jimmy's house and then we went to pick up Amy. Then we went off to bowling after bowling we went to Serramonte, then we walked around and went to eat at this japanese resturant. After that we went pollyanns and then to Amy's house. Finally we went home. And I'm blogging now.

I guess I'll start blogging again?

I'll start my new blog by saying I'm going to blog again. Maybe once or twice a week or maybe less depending on my day. The blogging will start soon...

I Quit

I've decided to quit blogging this will be my last post and no more posting.
Bye

=)

=) because =)

Sigh....

Well today was tango day, and I feel really mad at myself for not being confident enough. Every little thing I do, I hesitate because I am afraid that I am doing it wrong or I think that my partner gets annoyed by what I do. I just don't know how to boost my confidence in tango and in life.

If I was confidence enough then I would be happier with my life and the things I choose to do.
ARGGGG, I have already messed my life up and I could've done something that would make me happy but I decided not to do it and now I freeking regret that decision. I think it might be a regret for life and also a lesson. Well I guess for tango I can just practice more at home but my life problem I'll just try my best to solve it.

Anyways today (4.20.09) was a hot day and I was pretty much happy the whole day other than the confidence thing. I actually think speech helps with me with talking to people. I started talking to my partners today even though I don't know them. Maybe the shy stage of my life has passed by.

Yet still my goal:
Smile more even when the situation is not good because smiles bring joy to not just yourself but also others.

Change if needed

So, I was taking the bus home today, like wow I takes the bus home because normally I get rides home from Alvin but today I was in no mood to stay for physics or any of those crap, I was thinking what happened if the Yong you all know changed into a more mature person? I really want to change into someone that is less foolish. Well I'm going to give myself a week into trying this maybe it'll make me a better person. Other then that I don't know what I can do. I feel so useless at the moment and don't know what else I can do.

Note to self and others:
Keep smiling cause eventually it will lead on to more happiness for others.

EDIT: FOR THOSE THINK THIS IS EMO ITS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE EMO!!!

Thoughts...

I am a person that if you give time, I will learn to accept. Even if its something I don't think I can accept. Eventually I'll end up accepting it because I don't have the power to change what has happened already. So yeah when I get time to think I learn about myself more. When I rush things I just end up doing it wrong or think I can do it but at the end I fail. So give yourself sometime to think. Everyone will eventually solve those problems and everyone have problems. It's just the matter of time when realize it and then you'll go into this state where you think every night before you go to bed.

=D

I am happy and I love my sunburn. Don't know why but I just love my sunburn ahaha. Well I think its time for me to sleep more. i need my daily 14 hours of sleep in order to function right. Otherwise I'll be thinking a lot. So normally if I sleep for 14 hours I would only think about things for 10 hours but if you put school into it I'll probably think about 7-8 hours a day which is a lot for my little brain but its alright it'll keep my stupid ass thinking so my brain will still function. As long as I get my 14 hours of sleep I AM FUCKING HAPPY!!!!! =D BTW I WANT TO SAY I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!

Why?

All I want to do is ask you why? Maybe one day when I get drunk I will ask you this question but for now I don't want to.

Edit: BTW I am back in SF. The trip was alright because a lot of stuff went wrong. I felt that I had the worst luck during the last 3 days in LA but it's alright cause I believe luck will come back around and help me sooner or later, after I use up my bad luck.

LA here we come.

In about 9 hours and 22min we are heading to LA. This is going to be fun.

habit?

One way to relieve my stress is that I play freecell. I know it sounds nerdy because it requires a lot of thinking and it keeps my mind off a lot of things. So maybe next time when you are stressed try freecell. I know this is a random ass post just felt like blogging this. =)

I've had this feeling for a while, it was the same as last time but I don't know what to do. Am I ready for this? Or am I just going to coward it out and let it be drifting away. Maybe these restless night was for me to think over and decide.

Hates Our Generation

I F**KING HATE OUR GENERATION. FUCK IT I DON'T THINK I CAN LAST STAYING IN FUCKING SAN FRANCISCO FOR ANOTHER 10 YEARS!!!!!!

So today I woke up and I watched Seven Pounds. It was a pretty good movie until the ending which was really sad. I have to say maybe life is better if we sacrifice for others. Maybe one day I'll think exactly like Tim(played by Will Smith) and I'll sacrifice my fucking life for seven people who really need help because I'm tired.

Haircut soon

Tuesday will be the last of seeing me with the hair I have right now. So treasure the moment of me having this mediumish hair because you won't see it for another 3-4 months. hehe I just wanted to blog about it cause I'm so bored.

Edit. It is now Friday that I'm getting my haircut cause A plus is hella booked up

First Blog

Its 1:29 A.M.
Lets see this is my first blog post.
Today I went to school like usual then after school I went to this Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Place down at Mission and Octavia with Alvin, Aimee, and Dennis because Aimee had to go there for a field trip for for Sociology Class. After that we went to eat Pho at Westlake and then chilled there for about an hour in the car because Dennis had work at 6:15 and we finished eating around 5. Then I came home and that was pretty much my day. Unless trying to find plane tickets and bus tickets for LA is doing something then I did something. Other then that I pretty much didn't do anything when i got home. And that was my day and first post. I'll try my best to post everyday about what I did but I don't guarantee that I will be posting everyday.